Before I get started I will keep the top half of this review completely spoiler free. I will write a HUGE warning when I am about to jump into spoilery territory so you can choose to bow out if need be. I am going to warn you NOW internet trolls, my comment section is moderated, and you can leave all the hate you want here, but it will never see the light of day, and I will never respond. YOU ARE WASTING YOUR ENERGY even trying to leave a nasty comment. I have very strong opinions about this story, and I am unapologetic about it. Are you ready? I am going in.
To start off I want to say that I loved this story. I went in knowing very deep in my heart, that this was always going to feel distant and apart from the original seven novels for me. I know that it is canon, and I can accept it as such, but it will still feel different for me. The reason for that right now is that I know this story is meant to be seen, and not read. I have never ever been a fan of reading plays. Watching them? Absolutely! Reading them? Not so much. Still I won’t be going to London anytime soon, and I needed to know the story. So my warning to you is, if you’re a hardcore fan but hate reading plays and scripts, I would advise you to steer clear. I on the other hand have a crazy and vivid imagination and enjoyed it anyway. I am going to make a controversial statement here, and take it or leave, really don’t care how it makes you feel but the people who I have seen complaining and saying this story is awful sort of fall into an age group between 16-24. NO I am not calling anyone stupid for not liking it, or saying that because they are younger that they have a hard time grasping the concepts. I do however think the age plays a huge impact on how this can emotionally affect you. Take that as you will, it’s what I have seen. The people most disconnected from this story, are really young.
I grew up WITH Harry, Hermione, and Ron. I was 12 when I read the first book, and then really got into it at 14 when Goblet of Fire was released, and I decided to read the entire series from books 1-4. I was 17 and angsty as hell when Order of the Phoenix was released and Harry was in the midst of his angsty teen phase as well. I felt a connection with them as they grew up, and it is a connection that runs deep in my veins. Now at 30, I was curious about how Harry turned out as an adult. A man who spent his childhood trying to stay alive and dealing with death left and right must have something going on in his mind and life. When you go through rough moments at a really young age, they stick with you, believe me. Sometimes all the therapy in the world won’t erase those memories. That’s what being human is all about. We are all flawed in one way or another for a number of reasons. Perfection, is not a real thing. Enter Adult Harry..in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.
**** CURSED CHILD SPOILERS AHEAD! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK ****
IN CASE YOU ARE STILL HERE JUST TO BITCH AT ME LATER THAT I SPOILED IT FOR YOU…SPOILERS ARE AHEAD AND YOU NEED TO BACK AWAY IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE CURSED CHILD!!! SERIOUSLY…BACK THE FUCK UP!!
I have now officially warned you to turn around and exit, so do not complain about spoilers. The script picks up exactly where we left off at the end of Deathly Hallows. Harry and Ginny are dropping their kids off at Platform 9 and 3/4. Albus, their son, is nervous…very very nervous about the possibility that he will be placed in Slytherin. This we already knew. What we see happening in the Cursed Child is that he IS placed in Slytherin. That’s right, the son of Harry Potter is a Slytherin, along with his new friend Scorpius Malfoy, YUP , the son of Draco Malfoy. Albus and Scorpius become the best of friends because they are both fast becoming the lepers of Hogwarts. Albus is being called a Slytherin Squib, and Scorpius is just being haunted by an awful rumor of his parentage. We zoom through their first year, and I am sure it looks cool on stage. Harry and Albus are not getting along. I think Harry has trouble being a super understanding father, because he had a father figure for about 2.8 seconds as a child. This shines through very clearly. He is one deeply flawed man. Something that also still shines, is that trio’s friendship. I love them so much, and you can tell that now, they are indeed family. I also love this script because it shows Harry in a more realistic light for me. The “All Was Well” line in The Deathly Hallows always felt like such bullshit to me. You are telling me that a child that was abused for the first decade of his life and then spent the rest of his formative years simply trying to stay alive, and watched so many loved ones die around him turned into a fully functional adult? Fuck outta here! The way he snaps at Albus at one point is WAY more realistic to me, than some cookie cutter Harry Potter version we were all left with at the end of the last book.
A lot of things happen in this script, and I don’t want to give you a huge run down of everything, you read it if you are reading this portion, and if not then go look for a half assed summary elsewhere. I think there are some lines in the script that could be written better. I also think there are places in the story where Rowling really shines through. Some things seem to be really OUT THERE for my tastes as well. Like Voldemort and Bellatrix got it on and had an evil spawn of a daughter. I mean the man had practically no soul, but I guess that has zero effect on sperm count? :: Shudders :: Though the actual reveal of this information was done exceptionally well. She was in the shadows all the time like a creepy little Tom Riddle.
I do have to ask…HOW the hell did they brew Polyjuice Potion in a day? Or was it that it was already brewed and they were able to just quickly put the essence of whomever they were turning into so that it is ready to drink? I am guessing that it was already brewed. I don’t think Rowling would forget that it took Hermione a whole damn month to make that potion. Which brings forth my main argument about why I loved this book. People who seem to be hating this, are saying that it lacks plot, and we don’t get to see enough of each character, but I think people are forgetting that they are reading a script. A script contains actions to be seen on a stage, it does not and will not give you details or character depth. This is not a novel, and you need to go in knowing that, and realizing that or you are going to be sorely disappointed. Still, I enjoyed venturing into Harry’s adulthood. I think until I have the chance to see the play on stage I will still probably keep this a bit distant in my mind from the other seven books. I adored it nonetheless. I could go on and on about it, and would love to discuss it more with someone who has also read it and enjoyed it so I can really get into it. haha Follow me on Twitter and let’s chat about it.
I give Harry Potter and the Cursed Child 5 out of 5 Metal Horns!!