life

The Snakes Start to Sing – Trump Wins,We Lose

love-and-equality

I wasn’t going to write this. I have been voicing my opinions on most social media platforms for the past few days. This isn’t exactly new for me, I am heavily opinionated and unapologetic. If you don’t like what I have to say, you don’t have to listen to or read my opinions.

The past two days I have seen some despicable and terrifying behavior. Trump won the election, and predictably people are scared. Because of this blog I interact online with the book community, this book community tends to be young. They are confused and scared, and I have been loud and vocal about my support for them because they need it. It’s day two and people all over the United States are being very openly harassed and treated poorly by those who think that Trump winning the election equates to them being allowed to do whatever the hell they want. They are running around using the N word like it’s candy in their mouths, and they’re grabbing the hijab off of young muslim girls because “they can” now. Or so they think.

This is what Trump’s hate rhetoric has brought forth. I am not an idiot nor am I blind. Racism has always been around. We are talking about a nation that murdered their way to owning its land, a nation of slavery that moved into an unjust system that keeps minorities down, and a nation where the education still sugar coats thanksgiving and glosses over every single one of its ugly truths. Racism has always been there, But Trump’s win has given every white male and female, every racist scumbag, every white person who’s ever said the phrase, “Not to sound racist or anything but…” a green light to think that they can go out now and openly just be racist and act on those ugly feelings however they want. Acts of harassment and violence are sprouting all over the country.

This angers me beyond words, beyond anything I could eloquently convey on this silly blog of mine. So maybe I have to do it in a less than eloquent way.

STOP telling people to calm down, and that everything will be okay. Right now, and with the acts of harassment popping up all over, nothing is okay. My heart aches for those who are now afraid to step out of their houses. With every tweet I see in this young community of someone feeling lost, alone, and sad I feel 1000 pangs of sadness for them, and then it quickly turns into rage towards those that have made them feel this way. NO ONE should feel unsafe in their home or in their own country.

Then I go onto my personal Facebook page and that rage consumes my very soul. Unhealthy? Maybe, but I can’t help it. People are that fucking stupid. I will make it clear that I have no one who supports trump on my friends list. I ended a 15 year friendship with a trump supporter months ago and I have zero regrets. But some people seem to like making jokes at the expense of others, and some like to just continuously tell people to calm down. To them I say, SHUT THE FUCK UP! You’re either wrapped up in your own ass to figure out how truly disgusting people are being at this very moment or you’re old and completely out of touch with the world today. Either way, I won’t stand for the bullshit anymore. Not that I ever did.

idiots

See this? This popped up on my Facebook. Don’t know the original source, and I don’t care. The person who shared this wrote “Kinda true” so sir, how about you take a fucking seat so I can teach you a quick lesson. The above statement reads like the typical white excuse for horrible incidents. It’s the victim blaming bullshit that most white males nod their heads to while they jack off in their mother’s basement. “Political correctness hysteria” reads like nazi propaganda when you say it out loud. Because no, not every single joke uttered is racist, but yes plenty cross the line. If people don’t want to have something be “hysterical” at the expense of their race or religion, then it’s not fucking funny, and people don’t have to laugh at your shit. “Innocent flirt” hello their Mr.DickandBalls, you don’t get to fucking talk. You don’t have to constantly look over your shoulder when you’re out. Or when you kindly say “No thank you” to your “innocent flirtation” and the guy starts harassing you even further, or in one instance talks about how big his dick is and How I will enjoy it. So FUCK YOU and your innocent flirt. News flash Dick with ears, a culture is not a costume. If Native American’s don’t want you walking into a frat house with a native headdress while you slosh beer all over yourself and woop and hollar then they have every fucking right to call you out on it. Don’t blame the victim you giant piece of shit. That’s not how this fucking works.

You can freely say this shit and act like “no big deal” “jokes on you” because of your excessive white male privilege, but I am going to call you out on it and not give a flying fuck what you think. It’s not going to make you change because people like this basically think the world is too uptight. No, the world is just tired of being harassed, bullied, stepped on, raped, and murdered by white overly privileged shit for brains like you.

I have reached a point where I would rather burn bridges, than continue to hold back and set myself on fire just to make sure you’re warm.

I will keep being a caring, selfless, LOUD FEMINIST BITCH, and you can learn or you can fuck right off.

To those of you who feel scared and alone and need someone to talk to. I am here. Email, twitter, whatever…you can reach out to me.

LOVE & PEACE

Joana a.k.a. Metal and the Geek

Uncategorized

Blinded by Bullshit

A photo by Oscar Keys. unsplash.com/photos/AmPRUnRb6N0

Being a part of the book community has made me more aware of how the world around us is in the middle of an on coming shit storm. Not because of any drama, but because this community spends a lot of time reading, and spends a lot of time learning from one another, and also learning from the experiences of others. I have been learning a lot about the human condition, and just humanity in general. I have also learned how scared so many marginalized people are of Trump becoming president. I was very well aware of just how terrifying the prospect of a rotting pumpkin with guinea pig for hair would be as a leader of one of the biggest nations in the world, but as someone now living on the outside of the USA looking in, it didn’t fully hit me until I saw just how many different people, from so many different walks of life are actually fearing for their safety if this presidency becomes reality.

We have all heard the man speak. He can’t put a single coherent thought together to save his life. I wish I were exaggerating, but if his life literally depended on him saying something with a word from the national spelling bee and he couldn’t repeat the same thought within the same phrase either, he would die. His brain would explode from the strain. He spews massive amounts of HATE, and his entire campaign is built on fear mongering and bullshit. Yet I am not here to write about his supporters. No. I am here to discuss a different matter. His supporters say enough about themselves simply by being a Trump Supporter. It’s like wearing a permanent “I’m with stupid” t-shirt.

I want to talk about the matter where plenty of educated people are making this about how awful Hilary would be as president as well. I will be the first to say that I am not a huge fan of hers, but I will also say that she will be better for the country and THE WORLD than Trump will ever be. Trump has a temper of a petulant child. When someone angers him in anyway he automatically goes on the offensive. He loves to call people losers and pick apart their appearance especially if they’re women. He has a long list of failed businesses and an even longer list of several offenses against workers, women, and minorities. Educated people are sitting around sipping their bullshit tea talking about how Clinton took money from Saudi Arabia, they act like this money was wired into her personal account and she used it to pimp out her campaign like some modern day cackling witch. Some simple research will tell you that yes, Saudi Arabia donated millions to the clinton foundation, but this was years ago, when Clinton was secretary of state and had ZERO role in the foundation during that time. If she had so much to hide, why would she allow the list of donations to be made public? Have you seen Trump’s tax information yet? That’s because he has something to hide, in fact I am sure he has plenty of somethings to hide.

I am tired of seeing people shit on Hilary. Especially people who have never lived in the USA, will never live in the USA, and practically have zero ties to the country itself. As informed as you think you are, you have zeroed in on bullshit, or even zeroed in on details about Clinton to create a virtual witch hunt. Put your animosity aside for a second, and go around looking at how SCARED so many families are of Trump becoming president. Look at his supporters–They are the same people who watch the news about another innocent black man being shot dead in the streets and look for excuses for the cops abysmal behavior. His supporters are predominantly white, racist, and angry. I keep reading the fear from so many people and think to myself “how can anyone focus on “evil” Hilary, and not see the true evil before them?” People are SCARED, and your little witch hunt of Hilary is ignoring all the marginalized voices who will become silenced even more if the world allows a man like Trump to become president.

So Facebook keyboard warriors listen up! You are spending a lot of time tearing down Hilary any time someone criticizes Trump. You spend a lot of time trying to bring forth a sense of justification of your hatred for Hilary, ignoring the fear that is trickling down deep into people’s very souls if Trump wins. By doing so, you are becoming PART of the problem. If you’re reading this and feeling that sense of anger that only comes from feeling guilty, my advice to you is to reassess the bullshit you are blinded by and the bullshit you are putting forth. You are just as harmful as the trump supporters and their massive amounts of hate and ignorance.

PLEASE NOTE! This is MY OPINION! You know how you’re entitled to go around spewing all of your nonsense everywhere? I am entitled to come to my blog and put forth my views. My comments are moderated and hateful and uneducated nonsense will never see the light of day. Same goes for anyone who’s going to comment on my fb link with their own brand of hate and ignorance. I will delete anything you say. Not because I am only looking for praise, but because I refuse to argue with anyone who doesn’t want to see how hurtful a Trump presidency would be for so many people. I fear for friends, and their families. If you don’t get that, I have nothing to say to you.

 

life

A Little Louder for the People in The Back – A Look at Mental Illness

Mental_illness

I feel tired.

I feel tired all the time.

Anxiety and depression can do that, but having to explain myself a million times also does that. I get tired of getting skeptical looks, and strange waves of anger from people because I don’t and CANNOT fit into their mold of what a sick person looks like. Because I am not running a fever, I cannot be ill. Really there’s so much more bullshit that I have dealt with through out my struggles with anxiety that I felt the need to once again talk about it.

Everyone who deals with mental illness deals with it in their own way, not only that but not everyone will have the same feelings and symptoms even when they deal with the same illness. That’s always something that many people can’t seem to grasp. I cannot tell someone else’s tale of struggle, but I can tell you mine.

I was always a really shy kid. I also cried A LOT. When my parents would say that they would pick me up from say the babysitter at a set time, and they didn’t show up at that exact time, I would instantly start to sweat and I would begin to pace and ask a million questions because my mind was imagining the worst kind of car crashes in the world. At the time most people chalked it up to me being an emotional kid, but looking back I think that was just the beginning of my anxiety. I was definitely always known as the weird quiet child who liked to read. I was never a super talkative person, to this day I am not a talkative person, UNLESS of course I feel comfortable with you.

Let’s get a little darker now. I remember a time when I wasn’t aware that what I was feeling wasn’t just normal anxious feelings. In high school, I was told that I definitely had social anxiety. But it wasn’t until my early twenties, that at some point where I was having trouble breathing, I was crying nonstop for what felt like decades, and I dug my finger nails into my face that I finally realized something was really wrong with me. Since then I have sort of learned to manage it but it isn’t something with a cure. I have my really good days and I have my really bad days. I don’t hurt myself anymore, but I do still deal with panic and anxiety attacks.

The thing is, sometimes my anxiety is exacerbated by all of the negative shit that has been thrown my way in the past or even recently. I talk very openly about my struggles for a number of reasons:

  1. I want to be open with the people closest to me and also to the people I work with. Not for pity, but for understanding. There can be days where I have a hard time functioning.
  2. I want other people who are fighting this to know they are not alone.
  3. I want people who are completely ignorant about this, to learn how to deal with someone close to them and their anxiety or depression.

I also do it, because I always get asked weird shit, or talked about in a negative light because people just don’t understand. When I cancel plans with people because the thought of having to be around a group of people or public transportation is just terrifying that day, I don’t need to be told that I am flakey. I am not flakey, I am putting myself and my mental health first. I don’t feel that it is necessary to possibly be alone on a train, having an anxiety attack just to meet up for a drink. That’s not what I will ever do. Many friends stopped inviting me to places in the past, and many people were extremely rude and aggressive about me canceling plans. So when I find someone who understands without missing a beat, I try to hold onto those people. My advice to anyone who has dealt with this is to let go of the ones who tear you down over your struggles, and keep close those who let you take care of yourself first.

Recently someone said that they knew I was trouble when they first met me because I couldn’t look them in the eye when I first met them. This angered me greatly. Not because they don’t like me, not everyone has to like me, I really couldn’t give two flying dicks about that part. It angered me because when I first meet people, I tend to have a hard time making eye contact. Meeting new people causes an alarming amount of stress for me and I have a hard time making eye contact. They took that as me being –I don’t know…some kind of vixen? An evil queen wannabe? Don’t know. It’s just one of the many times someone has misunderstood something about my anxiety and twisted it to make me look bad. It’s not new for me.

evilqueen

When someone has a physical illness everyone is ready to be helpful, supportive, and show empathy. As it should be. I am quite grateful that physically at the moment I am healthy. The thing is that many people don’t see anxiety and depression as a real illness. They seem to think we are all drama queens who can’t get our shit together. I wish I could be that good at acting because I would probably have an Oscar sitting on the mantle of my big ass house on a hilltop in Portugal. I hate when I have a bad moment in front of people I don’t particularly like or trust because I know from experience how they will use that against me. I also hate getting “advice” from people who have never in their lives dealt with anxiety or depression themselves. Stop telling me to do yoga or to drink tea. I’ve done those things and they don’t work for me. Everything you can possibly name, I have tried it. I already have my ways of dealing with it, but again there ISN’T a cure. You get better with time, and then you will still have a few bad days here and there. It’s just how it goes.

None of us want your pity. We want your respect and yes a little bit of empathy would be nice. If I feel so tired that I need a nap, then let me nap. My brain doesn’t function like yours. It spends hours and days sometimes trying to untangle my thoughts, and that in itself is really exhausting. Pretend my brain is running a bunch of marathons through out the week there comes a point where I just can’t take it anymore. I am drained of all energy.  I do not nap on a daily basis, but if there’s someone out there that does and needs it, then let them. This is another one of those moments where we get told that we are being lazy.

So when I am asked why I constantly talk about my anxiety, my response is because people still think I am being rude, lazy, stuck up, or generally awful all because I choose to do certain things to better my mental health or I do them because my anxiety sort of makes me do things that people find strange. I shouldn’t have to constantly explain myself, but because mental illness is still a topic that many people ignore, I HAVE TO explain myself so I can hopefully make a break through with some people.

Know that this is a REAL illness, and millions of people are struggling to move forward every single day. Stop treating us like we are liars and stop telling us to relax. I promise you, it really doesn’t work that way.

Books

J.K.Rowling Doesn’t Owe You SHIT

You’re thinking, “ANOTHER Harry Potter Post?” Yes and if you don’t like it you are free to read something else entirely. Since you clicked on the link though you might as well stay for the long haul. I always feel the need to state this though, don’t bother trying to comment with hateful words, because I moderate the comment section, and they won’t appear anywhere. I also won’t bother to respond. JKRowlingThese are my opinions, if you want to share your own, start your own blog. It’s been a couple of days since I finished Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. I have my review up and I said what I needed to say. Or so I thought.

Then suddenly, people started bitching left and right about The Cursed Child scriptbook, and it started to leave a sour taste in my mouth. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings, but it is when those opinions and feelings start to show your sense of entitlement that I start having some serious issues with what you have to say. To put it mildly, J.K. Rowling doesn’t OWE YOU A FUCKING THING. I know some of you are going to really hate how I say these things, but this is aimed at all of those people tearing into Cursed Child, being rude, condescending assholes about it and towards people who actually love it, and so deal with my opinions about how I see all of you as well. If you feel angry, maybe that’s your conscious talking.

ALSO: Please Note there ARE spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

“This is only a SCRIPT!”

Yes. Yes it is. For months, it has been promoted as a script, Rowling herself said more than once on social media that it is a SCRIPT and not a novel, and the word SCRIPT is on the cover. Yet somehow your dumbass brought that book home and still decided to go “Huh? This is only a script?!” I’ve heard of captain obvious but I guess you’re captain oblivious. What the hell did you think you were going to get when the book itself is only 330 pages and the word SCRIPT is on the cover??!!! Open your damn eyes at least. It seems a little unsafe to be out in the world with your eyes closed. Watch your step.

falling

Rowling Owes Us a Book

You know who’s saying this a lot? The youths. I know I am not old, but I am older than a lot of people who are a part of this online book community, and the ones most upset by this play, or script are the youngins. Especially the overly entitled ones who have never heard the word “NO!” a day in their lives. Your entitlement is showing, and you need to turn that shit down 20 notches. Rowling doesn’t owe you anything. You made the very conscious decision to buy this book, it is NO ONE’s fault that ONE: You really thought you were getting a novel, TWO: you have NO idea how to read a script, and THREE: If You do know how to read a script and don’t like it, she STILL doesn’t owe you shit. That is not the way the world works.

Harry Potter doesn’t seem like Harry Potter in this!

This is another thing I am picking up from a lot of the younger crowd, and I can excuse this one a bit because in my opinion they’re either still teenagers and haven’t been handed a sucker punch to the gut of life, or they are in their early twenties and are still too close to their teens to realize, you change as you grow up. As a teen and well into my early twenties I was shy, extremely quiet, and overly nice to absolutely everyone. At 30, I am still not the most talkative person on the planet, but I learned that being overly nice is an open door for people to stomp all over you. So I am way more careful about who I allow in, and I have also built a stronger backbone. You will think twice before being an asshole to me, because honestly I’ve gotten really good at taking no one’s shit. Also as a teen I went through some rough moments, and those moments also molded my life into what it is. That is a hard fact, life changes you. This script has made Harry so real to me. I knew he had to be struggling with life as an adult. Also when you’ve had a father figure for maybe a day, you probably have some trouble trying to figure out parenting, especially when your child sort of resents you and all of your fame and glory. You have literally set up your kid for failure by saving the world. How shitty must that feel? And maybe you’re thinking “He only seems to have trouble with Albus, not the other kids.” Well kids are different. My brother and I may have similar personalities but we deal with certain things differently. I know siblings who barely get along or even see each other because they’re complete opposites. Two kids from the same parents will not always come out the same in the personality and the how to deal with life departments. It is pure fact, and if you have siblings, you know that. But back to the main point, YES Harry is different, but you will be too in your mid thirties, just wait for it.

This is too far-fetched

eyeroll

This one deserves to be started off with a major fucking eye-roll. SERIOUSLY?! THIS is far-fetched. The completely secret magical world is cool with you, but this is too much?  Where the hell do we draw the line in our imaginations anyway? confused

In a world where there’s a secret shopping street for wizards in the center of London, where children are just allowed to fly around on brooms and play a dangerous sport, where a troll gets taken out by three 11 year olds, where a ghost is called Moaning Myrtle, and where there’s a MASSIVE FUCKING CASTLE that no one but wizards can see, you’re having a hard time grasping the fact that the little trolley witch is the one who keeps the kids onboard the Hogwarts Express? I mean didn’t you ever wonder who took care and watched all of those kids onboard the train? The only time there was an adult onboard was with Lupin. The rest of the time everyone seemed pretty unsupervised. All the prefects in the world aren’t going to stop kids from being kids. So there had to be some sort of safeguard in place. You can’t believe that Voldemort has a wicked daughter out in the world?  I highly doubt he got it on with Bellatrix, pretty sure this was done in some other way, and it would also explain her unrelenting OBSESSION with him, because if you never noticed, she didn’t just follow him, she LOVED little ol Tom Riddle. I think we received a more in depth look into why.

You need a dose of Imagination

I am going to tie this off nicely with a very quick tip. You NEED a vivid imagination to read this. It is a script so details aren’t going to be there. You need to try to picture a lot of things even more than when reading a regular novel. Scripts are brought to life by the actors and the stage set. There were some aspects of the script where I needed to stop and think about it. For instance, the time traveling seems to have changed drastically from when Hermione used a time turner, but in the story we are more than two decades past that, and this particular time turner isn’t like the Ministry assigned ones that Hermione used, so maybe the magic involved and technicalities are different. This seems more Doctor Who inspired and filled with paradoxes and fucked up alternate timelines. I can dig it. Also, the polyjuice potion that seemed to be brewed in a day? I have come to two separate conclusions on this: ONE is that it was already brewed and they just added the essence of whomever they were turning into or TWO, Potion brewing has made some strides and this can be brewed much quicker. It is not hard to grasp people, I mean you can fit an entire computer into your damn pocket or wear it around your wrist. Imagination will take you far!! That’s just fact. If this seems lackluster to you, then you just may need a dose of imagination. Too bad that doesn’t come bottled then huh?

micdrop

 

 

 

Books

Dear Dan Brown,YA isn’t for you

Da Vinci Code_approved.indd

Honestly Adults over the age of 45 seem to think we are all a bunch of idiots. While I am no longer considered a young adult, I read plenty of Young Adult fiction, and I am close enough to remember very clearly all the things I hated to hear from adults when I was a teen or in my early twenties. Mr. Dan Brown has officially struck upon all of those things.

A Young Adult Version of The Da Vinci Code

I know exactly why this version is even being printed and it has nothing to do with sparking a sense of discovery in anyone. Dan Brown was quoted saying,

“My parents were educators, so it’s no surprise that I have a fascination with history and research. In fact, if I weren’t an author, I’m sure I would be a teacher myself. It is my sincere hope that this adaptation of The Da Vinci Code sparks in young adults the same thrill of discovery I feel while exploring hidden history and the mysteries of the world we live in.”

Yes, and the best way to spark interest in something is to essentially tell the target audience they’re not smart enough to read the original story. What’s actually happening here is that his publishers know just how successful YA books are in the current market. Children and Young Adult books have seen the most growth in sales in the past few years. This is nothing more than a marketing strategy. Let me explain to you why I think this is an idiotic move.

I read The Da Vinci Code as a teen, and read the prequel Angels and Demons as a teen as well. You know what I thought about them then? “Not the best writing, but still entertaining.” Because that’s the truth of it. There is not a single theme in the Original Da Vinci Code that any book nerd teenager can’t grasp. Honestly, I’ve seen YA with more complicated themes and messages. People of the book community have been here before, and quite recently as well. Where another Penis with eyes decided that Young Adult fiction isn’t morally complicated enough, and he was about to be the game changer. Both of you need to STOP.

If Dan Brown really wanted to spark any kind of interest within the YA community, maybe he should have sat down and written a COMPLETELY NEW series for YA. Make the characters young and write the secret society, historical fiction, and mystery in there, but make it a fresh idea, make it new and depart from The Da Vinci Code. By releasing this book in September you’re just telling a bunch of young people “Here, I dumbed this down for you because the only things I think you’re good at are selfies.”

selfieMONALISA

It is so condescending and idiotic to think so highly of your writing, and so low of the youth today that you figured this was the best move. Sir, you sold 82 million copies of The Da Vinci Code, you really fucking think that NONE of those copies were bought, read and understood by young adults? You fool!

I am tired of getting shit for reading Young Adult fiction, and I am tired of certain writers acting like they need to enter the YA community with there heads up their ass, and with the air around them as if they’re the second coming of Jesus. I have zero patience for this kind of thing and I hope this plan BOMBS. You don’t deserve the recognition and love from this wonderful community, and you’re well on your way to never receiving it. I will NOT be buying this book, and neither should anyone else. Maybe our tiny brains just can’t help themselves.

Peace & Love…sort of.

MATG