Using SCRIBD

 

I read A LOT. I don’t think this comes as a surprise, but also last year I really got into listening to Audiobooks. I first did the Audible thing, and that was good, but I wanted to try something new this year.

That’s when I came across Scribd.

I signed up and received one month free, and I am loving it!

The way it works is every month you will get billed $8.99. And now you can listen to an unlimited amount of audiobooks and read an unlimited amount of ebooks!! It’s basically like Netflix for BOOKS!!! 

They used to have a credit system where you received 3 ebook credits and 1 audiobook credit. Then there were the unlimited library choices that didn’t require any credits. Usually, many new releases though required credits. NOT ANYMORE!! IT’S ALL UNLIMITED!! They got rid of the credit system and I am so excited!

I’ve found that this is really working out better for me than Audible. At least here I can also grab some ebooks.

It’s also been helping on my journey to read War and Peace. I’ve been going back and forth between my physical copy and the audiobook on Scribd. Which is great! I typically like using audiobooks for dense classics or Non-Fiction, and there are A LOT of options for both on Scribd.

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I highly recommend you check Scribd out! If you use my link you can get up to 2 months for free, and in the interest of full disclosure, if you sign up I get one free month! Right now as I am in the midst of launching my own business that would really help me, and I would be forever grateful! I also just think it’s a great service. Their library has grown quite a lot, and they get new stuff all the time! Check it out! You can cancel at any time!

Click Here to Get 2 Free months of

 

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – Scriptbook Review

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Before I get started I will keep the top half of this review completely spoiler free. I will write a HUGE warning when I am about to jump into spoilery territory so you can choose to bow out if need be. I am going to warn you NOW internet trolls, my comment section is moderated, and you can leave all the hate you want here, but it will never see the light of day, and I will never respond. YOU ARE WASTING YOUR ENERGY even trying to leave a nasty comment. I have very strong opinions about this story, and I am unapologetic about it. Are you ready? I am going in.

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To start off I want to say that I loved this story. I went in knowing very deep in my heart, that this was always going to feel distant and apart from the original seven novels for me. I know that it is canon, and I can accept it as such, but it will still feel different for me. The reason for that right now is that I know this story is meant to be seen, and not read. I have never ever been a fan of reading plays. Watching them? Absolutely! Reading them? Not so much. Still I won’t be going to London anytime soon, and I needed to know the story. So my warning to you is, if you’re a hardcore fan but hate reading plays and scripts, I would advise you to steer clear. I on the other hand have a crazy and vivid imagination and enjoyed it anyway. I am going to make a controversial statement here, and take it or leave, really don’t care how it makes you feel but the people who I have seen complaining and saying this story is awful sort of fall into an age group between 16-24. NO I am not calling anyone stupid for not liking it, or saying that because they are younger that they have a hard time grasping the concepts. I do however think the age plays a huge impact on how this can emotionally affect you. Take that as you will, it’s what I have seen. The people most disconnected from this story, are really young.

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I grew up WITH Harry, Hermione, and Ron. I was 12 when I read the first book, and then really got into it at 14 when Goblet of Fire was released, and I decided to read the entire series from books 1-4. I was 17 and angsty as hell when Order of the Phoenix was released and Harry was in the midst of his angsty teen phase as well. I felt a connection with them as they grew up, and it is a connection that runs deep in my veins. Now at 30, I was curious about how Harry turned out as an adult. A man who spent his childhood trying to stay alive and dealing with death left and right must have something going on in his mind and life. When you go through rough moments at a really young age, they stick with you, believe me. Sometimes all the therapy in the world won’t erase those memories. That’s what being human is all about. We are all flawed in one way or another for a number of reasons. Perfection, is not a real thing. Enter Adult Harry..in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

**** CURSED CHILD SPOILERS AHEAD! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK ****

IN CASE YOU ARE STILL HERE JUST TO BITCH AT ME LATER THAT I SPOILED IT FOR YOU…SPOILERS ARE AHEAD AND YOU NEED TO BACK AWAY IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE CURSED CHILD!!! SERIOUSLY…BACK THE FUCK UP!!

 

I have now officially warned you to turn around and exit, so do not complain about spoilers. The script picks up exactly where we left off at the end of Deathly Hallows. Harry and Ginny are dropping their kids off at Platform 9 and 3/4. Albus, their son, is nervous…very very nervous about the possibility that he will be placed in Slytherin. This we already knew. What we see happening in the Cursed Child is that he IS placed in Slytherin. That’s right, the son of Harry Potter is a Slytherin, along with his new friend Scorpius Malfoy, YUP , the son of Draco Malfoy. Albus and Scorpius become the best of friends because they are both fast becoming the lepers of Hogwarts. Albus is being called a Slytherin Squib, and Scorpius is just being haunted by an awful rumor of his parentage. We  zoom through their first year, and I am sure it looks cool on stage. Harry and Albus are not getting along. I think Harry has trouble being a super understanding father, because he had a father figure for about 2.8 seconds as a child. This shines through very clearly. He is one deeply flawed man. Something that also still shines, is that trio’s friendship. I love them so much, and you can tell that now, they are indeed family. I also love this script because it shows Harry in a more realistic light for me. The “All Was Well” line in The Deathly Hallows always felt like such bullshit to me. You are telling me that a child that was abused for the first decade of his life and then spent the rest of his formative years simply trying to stay alive, and watched so many loved ones die around him turned into a fully functional adult? Fuck outta here! The way he snaps at Albus at one point is WAY more realistic to me, than some cookie cutter Harry Potter version we were all left with at the end of the last book.

A lot of things happen in this script, and I don’t want to give you a huge run down of everything, you read it if you are reading this portion, and if not then go look for a half assed summary elsewhere. I think there are some lines in the script that could be written better. I also think there are places in the story where Rowling really shines through. Some things seem to be really OUT THERE for my tastes as well. Like Voldemort and Bellatrix got it on and had an evil spawn of a daughter. I mean the man had practically no soul, but I guess that has zero effect on sperm count? :: Shudders :: Though the actual reveal of this information was done exceptionally well. She was in the shadows all the time like a creepy little Tom Riddle.

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I do have to ask…HOW the hell did they brew Polyjuice Potion in a day? Or was it that it was already brewed and they were able to just quickly put the essence of whomever they were turning into so that it is ready to drink? I am guessing that it was already brewed. I don’t think Rowling would forget that it took Hermione a whole damn month to make that potion. Which brings forth my main argument about why I loved this book. People who seem to be hating this, are saying that it lacks plot, and we don’t get to see enough of each character, but I think people are forgetting that they are reading a script. A script contains actions to be seen on a stage, it does not and will not give you details or character depth. This is not a novel, and you need to go in knowing that, and realizing that or you are going to be sorely disappointed. Still, I enjoyed venturing into Harry’s adulthood. I think until I have the chance to see the play on stage I will still probably keep this a bit distant in my mind from the other seven books. I adored it nonetheless. I could go on and on about it, and would love to discuss it more with someone who has also read it and enjoyed it so I can really get into it. haha Follow me on Twitter and let’s chat about it.

I give Harry Potter and the Cursed Child 5 out of 5 Metal Horns!!

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Short Story Sunday – Part II

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Well well well, if it isn’t another Sunday. I know I said I would update this story on a bi-weekly basis, but well I got sick, and it blowed. I really didn’t bother updating the blog at all, and then had work to catch up on, but enough with the excuses here. If this is your first visit, then you will want to read Part One of the story.

PART ONE

Now that you read that, here’s Part Two. Enjoy!! Please note that I do this on a whim. No editing goes into it, and I basically just want to do this for fun. It helps get the brain flowing, so that I can go and work on my other stories. 😀 Still I really hope you enjoy it, and please feel free to share, comment, and like!! Peace and Love!!

NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING for Sexual Harassment. Please do not read if sensitive to this subject. 

Part Two: Invitations and Hesitations 

I really should tell you how I ended up locking myself away like a depressed Rapunzel in her tower. Yes, it comes down to that party invitation. I spent the next few days being extremely indecisive about it.

“I mean it could be fun.” I would say to Patrick one minute. “but then again, I think I would rather just stay in on Saturday.”

“Something new, then.” Patrick would reply. “Look I know you hate parties, and not everyone needs to be belligerent and drunk 24/7, but you haven’t really done much other than work on your art and selling pieces online–” As I was about to defend myself he cut in again,”Which works for you Zara. You are the way you are, but don’t you ever feel like trying? Try and meet new people, or just break out of your shell a little?”

After another day or two of me being wishy washy, and Patrick barely listening to my excuses by Friday night, I finally said while I was making dinner, “FINE! We will go, because YES, you are coming with me. Let’s be social. Let’s walk into the lion’s den!”

I didn’t get dressed up because it didn’t seem like that kind of party. Skinny jeans, white tee, and a black hoodie seemed like a perfect outfit. As we both walked out of our door to head down stairs to the party, patrick turned to me before locking the door, “You are sure you want to do this?”

“Well don’t question me NOW Pat. For fucks sake.” He moved aside and I closed the door to the apartment, took a breath and locked it.

When we arrived, I couldn’t find the host. It was already crowded and excessively loud. “I’m going to grab us a couple of beers. You’ll wait here?” I simply nodded at his question. I shoved my hand into the pockets of my hoodie and based myself against a wall. People kept walking by, dancing and spilling their drinks trying to get through. Suddenly someone was next to me, and he came really close to my ear to talk to me, I realized then that it was possibly just because over the loud music that there was no other way of communicating, but smoke signals would have felt less suffocating to me. He continued to talk, and I zoned out completely, as I tend to do under normal circumstances anyway.

“…and that’s how I ended up here.” Is what I heard from this tall stranger with black hair, green eyes and a chiseled jaw when I finally tuned back to earth. I laughed because he was laughing, and I responded with “Haha, that’s cool.” His expression kind of flickered, which told me he realized I hadn’t paid attention to a single word he said. At this point I could see Patrick carrying two beer bottles in his hand, all I could think was ‘thank god’. I turned my back on the stranger as Pat handed me a beer.

“Sorry they only had hipster microbrews here.”

“You mean cereal and milk left out in the sun for too long? It’s okay, I kind of expected that with this crowd.” I took a sip and shuddered. Patrick then waves at some dude across the room.

“It’s my coworker Daniel, wanna come with me?” Pat asked.

“No no, you go. I will be fine here.” and Patrick walked away. He glanced over his shoulder and his forehead creased as I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I turned, the stranger was still standing there.

“That your boyfriend?” he asks.

“Umm, no. Just a friend. Best friend actually.”

“Good.” and he put his hand on my waist. I winced at the touch. I grabbed his hand and placed it back on his side.

“Playing hard to get huh?” and the most disturbing grin crossed his face. I took a step back, as far as the crowd and walls would allow me, but he stepped forward. “I am not playing at all actually. Thank you, but NO thank you.” He wasn’t having it though, and he once again put his hand on my waist, grabbed it actually and brought me close to him with no effort at all. His face was close to mine at this point, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Can you please let go of me?” and I glanced over at Patrick, but he wasn’t near his friend, he was struggling to get through the crowd to come to me. Suddenly I felt like a boulder fell onto my chest, and the hand on my waist felt more like a giant bear trap. I started to panic, and began to push myself out of his grip. At this very point he said “Fine, bitch!” and pushed me off. I stumbled back, my breath caught in my throat, and of course in this instance, I fell straight to the floor, the beer bottle in my hand crashing and breaking to pieces.

I knew I was having a panic attack, the heat rising to the back of my neck, my chest tightening. I struggled to get up, and cried out when placing my right hand down on the floor. There was glass stuck in my palm, blood rushing out. Patrick finally reached me, and helped me to my feet. Before I could say thank you, I turned and pushed out of the crowd to the building’s hallway. I ran again. I ran right back to the elevator and right to our apartment door. Realizing too late that Patrick had the key. I slammed my back against the door. I fell straight to the floor, and began to sob all while trying to calm my breathing.

I felt a hand on my arm, and flinched. It was Patrick.

“I’m sorry. You’re okay, you ARE safe.” He sat there with me, me against the door to our apartment, and him against the wall next to it. He didn’t touch me again. He let me calm down enough, to finally open the door. He guided me into the apartment, “Let’s get your hand cleaned up.”

“I…I Don’t want to gg..go to the hospital ththough.” I struggled to speak.

“No. No we will do it here, and if it needs more care, we can go tomorrow. Okay? Where’s your medication?”

“Ba-Bathroom.”

We walked slowly to the bathroom, and he cleaned out my hand. Carefully and slowly, cleaning out all the cuts as he went. “Take your medication, to calm down, and I will go make you some tea.”

I took my meds, and headed to the couch. I sat there crying, and I’ve been going back every day since. To sit there, occasionally crying. Patrick occasionally brings me tea. What a way to live.


Well that’s the end of part two. I know, it got a little dark, but I hope you liked the read.

See you next time!!

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

©2016 Joana Simoes. All Rights Reserved

15 Book Nerd Facts About Me

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I have seen a few book nerds writing up some book nerd facts about themselves and I thought this would be a fun and quick post to make!! So here are 15 BookNerd Facts about me!!

1. Books have been a HUGE part of my life from the very first word I learned how to read.

2. Covers of Books have ZERO influence on what I buy now, because in the past year some of the prettiest covers, had the crappiest stories.

3. I don’t care if I buy used or new books, and lately I have been heading more towards used books, because I am GENUINELY trying to spend less money on books. For the price of one book, I can get 10..NO JOKE.

4. I have slowed down my requesting of titles for review. I requested too many last year and disliked most.

5. My current favorite writer is V.E. Schwab.

6. I am editing my first novel, and have four other ideas juggling around in different parts of the writing process. You can call me crazy.

7. I usually have my Kindle on me.

8. Which brings us to this fact…I enjoy Ebooks and Physical books. I have no rhyme or reason as to what format I get.

9. I stop paying attention to any reviewer who only gives books 4 or 5 stars to absolutely EVERYTHING they read. I notice it more and more with people who seem to just try to kiss ass to get free stuff from publishers. You are in it for the wrong reasons, and I have no respect for you.

10. YES, I do prefer the company of books.

11. I try to convince everyone to read the Harry Potter series.

12. My boyfriend lets me talk his ear off about books I am reading, or book ideas I have to write. He’s quite supportive.

13. I hate seeing shelves with pristine books like they have never been read. It breaks my heart.

14. I hate hate hate the mortal instruments series…NOT SORRY.

15. I own over 600 Books.

*Bonus fact: I worked at a book store for about two years and it is where I met one of my best friends and it was one of the best times I had.

Those are just 15 little fun facts!! Enjoy, and tell me some of your booknerd facts!!

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My Top 10 BookNerd Problems

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When you are an avid reader, there are some things that regular people will say or do that will just get under your skin. Then there are just somethings that come with the territory of being a booknerd. Here are my top ten booknerd problems. Are you ready for this? I am!

1. When you are reading, and someone asks “What are you reading?” 

Take note here, If I am reading a physical copy of a book, do NOT ask me what I am reading, just read the damn cover and then google it. If I am reading on my Kindle, do NOT ask me what I am reading, for the simple reason that it is fucking annoying!! Wait until I put it away and then ask. If you’re not even a reader, don’t ask me just to make small talk. I hate small talk. Just go away honestly.

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2. When people say they’ve watched the movie, and don’t need to read the book. 

This might be my biggest Booknerd Problem. That is the dumbest thing someone can say. The story you see on the big screen could never ever live up to the books. Even the movies I love that are based from books, I still love the books 100 times more! You have no idea what you are talking about, and you are making me angry for no reason. Sit down somewhere and think about what you’ve done!

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3. When you finish an amazing book, and can’t decide what to read next.

Booknerds, you know what I am talking about. This happens to me quite often. I will read something amazing, and then everything else I try to start seems so mediocre compared to the beautiful piece of fiction I just finished reading. Sigh. What can you do, but continue to dig through your piles to find your next amazing read.

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4. Waiting for the next book in a series… 

Anyone who is a reader and a serious booknerd will tell you, this is some serious business that requires the patience of a saint. Currently I am waiting for the next book in the Kingkiller Chronicles, The Song of Ice and Fire, and A Darker Shade of Magic. Luckily V.E.Schwab who wrote A Darker Shade of Magic is on point, and her next book is being released next month. As for George R.R.Martin and Patrick Rothfuss I will wait patiently because I know how amazing their books will be no matter how long we wait. I still remember waiting for the Harry Potter books to be released one by one and how incredible it was to finally have the book in my hands. But what am I going to do while I wait?!

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5. When someone says I read too much…

Well, all I can say to that is, you don’t read enough and you can suck a dick. I love to read. I always have from the very first word I learned how to read till this very point in my life, and until my very last day on this earth…reading will always mean the world to me. Some of you should try OPENING a book and reading it once in a while. Could be useful to the world.

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6. Moving…

When I moved from the USA to Germany the main things that were packed up and shipped were all of my books. People kept telling me I was nuts and that I should have given them away to charity. I don’t tell you to give a way the things you hold dear do I? Anyway once we moved to a different apartment here, I had to pack them up again, and move them…AGAIN. Now that we have about 600 books on our shelves…I am kind of dreading the day we will move again. Balls.

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7. Running out of shelf space…

We recently had to pick up some more Swedish puzzles (aka Ikea Bookshelves) to organize my books. Running out of shelf space is a common booknerd problem. They were starting to pile up all over the place. I have it under control at the moment. My book collection has grown with the local used book sales that seem to be happening more and more often now. I can’t help it when I get a giant stack of books for 20 bucks. So we haven’t run out of shelf space…yet.

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8. When a book is so amazing that you don’t fall asleep…

I have lost count how many times I have done this. Sleep is not a priority when I am hooked into a book. When I first read the King Killer Chronicles I was twitching in the morning because I stayed up all night reading. I have done that more than once. Call me irresponsible if you would like, but I always do my work, and I always study the next day. I mean I will probably start dozing off while I make dinner, but that’s besides the point. Some stories deserve that kind of attention.

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9. When someone asks you what a book is about, and your brain goes into overdrive…

This happens to me all the time. I gush about a book and someone will ask what it is about, and then suddenly my brain simultaneously explodes and goes blank. I want to say so much, but then I want to say so little because I wouldn’t want to spoil a book for someone else. Its hard out here for a booknerd.

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10. When your favorite characters die…

There are many characters to name, but within the Harry Potter series are the ones that truly broke my heart. I couldn’t bare with the death of Sirius Black and Dumbledore (and so many others.) I cried serious tears and yelled into the wind the words “J.K. Rowling…WTF?!” It gets seriously rough, and obviously I am a masochist because I just reread it, and get punched in the gut every single time. Again and again.

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So those are my booknerd problems! Comment down below and tell me some of yours!!

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Trouble in YA Paradise

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I am specifically using The Hunger Games as my opening image for a reason. You will catch onto it soon.

There’s trouble in YA fiction paradise, and it has been stirred by a white male author who I wanted to originally leave nameless, but at the same time I want to tell you who it is so you can decide whether it is worth your time to read his book. I try so hard not to tear into writers, because I myself am an aspiring author, and I wouldn’t want it done to me, but this falls under an exception and here is why.

Scott Bergstrom wrote a book called The Cruelty, and it has apparently garnered him so much attention, that the book already has a movie deal. I would be happy for any author to get this because I still strongly believe that YA publishing is pushing the industry forward, but I am not happy about this particular deal. This book is described by Publishers Weekly as:

“Bergstrom’s heroine is Gwendolyn Bloom, a Jewish, slightly overweight 17-year-old, who is transformed into a “lean warrior with hair dyed fire-engine red,” during her mission to rescue her father, a kidnapped diplomat. Her search takes her into Europe’s most dangerous slums, and into contact with gangsters, spies, and arms dealers.”

I would like to give the writer the benefit of the doubt as many other YA authors have tried to do, but let’s be honest those writers are probably nicer than me. The description is there because he wrote the book this way. As if a female needs to lose weight to become empowered, or important. I will come back to this clusterfuck in a second. The real problem I have with this is the fact that this writer decided that he was going to put down the entire YA Sector of fiction by saying:

“The morality of the book is more complicated than a lot of YA so I wanted to try doing it on my own,” Bergstrom said. “In a lot of YA, the conflict takes place inside a walled garden, set up by outside adult forces. If you think of those stories as a metaphor for high school, they start to make a lot more sense, but that was one thing I wanted to depart from.”

and the even bigger cock of a quote:

“I’m inspired by the world around me. What troubles me about so much of today’s fiction aimed at young adults is that its set in an imaginary time and place.“

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So you’re troubled by imagination and those who can create worlds you probably could only dream of creating? You don’t come out of the gate as an arrogant prick, and those two quotes tell me all I need to know about this writer. He is coming in with his chest puffed out and his nose up in the air claiming that he’s writing something different, something unique. Sorry sir but your trope has been done before, and not just in YA. It’s sad really that men think it’s okay to write young women this way. When your target audience is young women. Here’s where you, and all those people backing you will run into some snags in the near future, your target audience isn’t simple minded. Your target audience has grown up reading amazing and strong female characters and they have reached a point in their reading lives that they don’t want to be told that as a female, the only way to feel like an empowered warrior is to lose weight. NO ONE wants to read that. I know I don’t.

But apparently someone thinks that females of the world need this shit.

“Kicking butt to save your dad is actually a lot easier for me to swallow than kids killing kids in The Hunger Games.”

That’s a quote from his agent’s neighbor or someone who read the story, and apparently never actually read The Hunger Games. The Hunger Games is one of the most morally complex YA novels out there. Katniss throws all of her heart and soul to save not just her sister, but also so the future of Panem would be more than just “kids killing kids”, and not to mention it paved the way for so many other YA novels to be published, unfortunately that includes this story by Mr. Bergstrom.

If you go on twitter and look at the hashtag MorallyComplicatedYA you are going to find that the target audience of your novel Mr.Bergstrom is highly offended by your remarks and your plot. How does that saying go? You shot yourself in the foot? You may have gotten all those deals rolling in, but I am going to gather by the truly empowering females all over social media aren’t falling for your shit, and in fact might be turning on you. You offended an entire genre, you insulted fellow writers who could have backed your story, you offended the entire female gender with your remarks. I wish you luck, because you are going to need it from this day forth.

I imagine your agent and your publishers are all feeling a little nervous now, and will probably force you to apologize. Hope you try your best to sound genuine, but fantasy seems to be a concept you cannot grasp.

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I could continue tearing into this, but I think I will sign off now. Just know, all young females deserve to read empowering characters, yours is not one of those, and everyone seems to know that.

Peace and Love

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The Reading & Writing Slump Blues

me in Portugal
me in Portugal

If you noticed that I have not updated in a while, it is because I was not around. I went to Portugal for about 10 days. While I could have scheduled some blog posts while I was gone, I decided not to, because I would not be able to give those posts the adequate attention they would require. I spent those ten days with Family, and making new friends. (SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER!!)

So not only did my blog fall into a slump, but I also fell into a reading slump. I barely read anything at all while I was over there. I don’t regret it because I had more important things happening. Still now I am trying to both break the blogging slump and the reading slump but that feels a little frustrating right now.

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Luckily, I have things for work to write that are helping break the writing slump a bit, and school work that requires my focus as well, and since those two are important tasks I truly need to get through, it has helped me quite a bit. Even though my cat, hasn’t quite gotten over the fact that I was gone for ten days, so she keeps roaming around me and jumping on my lap at inappropriate times. STAY KITTY!!

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My reading slump, is the first real one I am dealing with this year. I typically break them by rereading Harry Potter, but I didn’t want to start a reread until around Xmas time. So the next idea is to read some graphic novels, which tend to be fast and simple to get through. I have Career of Evil by Robert Galbraith (J.K.Rowling) waiting to be read, and I got about 8 chapters in, but I don’t feel like reading. Which is ridiculous because I love this series, and this one opens in such a disturbing way. So it has nothing to do with the book itself, I just need to get back into it. Hopefully a couple of graphic novels will help.

There are a couple of concerts coming up as well, which will also interrupt my reading a bit, but this has never been an issue before. Then again, I don’t think I have ever felt a slump like this. Ah well, I am sure I can manage to break out of it. I have at least broken out of the blogging one, and I will head back into my work so that I can continue to write and further push me to want to read something entertaining. *crosses fingers* I will be posting some reviews and such soon on here again. Stay Tuned!!

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