Coffee & Rant

Always the Foreigner

andrey-larin-189255

If you know me, then you know my story, or at least bits and pieces of it that I have allowed you to see. The other day something popped up on one of my many social media news feeds that inspired this post. I thought to myself, no matter where I go these days, I am a foreigner. It’s not really troublesome to me, but it’s unique and a bit interesting to say the least. Let me take you back.

486530_10150971845899142_1684528778_nI was born in Portugal in 1986. I lived there for the first four years of my life. The picture was taken in Portugal with my older brother, who looks like he’s sporting a semi-mullet in this. (Business in the FRONT, Party in the BACK!) When people ask me, I have to be honest and say that at this point in my life I don’t have that many recollections of my early childhood spent in that beautiful country. When I am actually physically there, I can sometimes sense something that I could never explain properly in words. All I know is that, this place where I have only spent a handful of days in, feels like home. The thing is that I also feel like a foreigner when I am there. I will come back to that soon.

So we moved to the USA, to New Jersey to be exact when I was four. We lived on a street that had tons of other Portuguese families and I very quickly made friends with the neighborhood kids. When I entered school, that was a different story. Halloween came around in Kindergarten, and my mom wasn’t all that sure what the hell Halloween was. I am sure someone gave her a half assed explanation, “It’s like carnival, but not.” Our neighbor kindly let me and my mom pick one of her kid’s old costumes, and what did we pick? A GOAT. goatWe thought it was funny, to be honest, I STILL think it’s funny. It just made me stand out like the little weirdo. Another little foreign kid whose family misunderstood what an American tradition was about. Didn’t we know that I was supposed to be a little princess, or a fairy, or a combination of the two? Or a Ghost Fairy Princess!!  Nah, I was a goat. weirdThis is just an example of how I always felt a little out of place in New Jersey. In NJ, I was the Portuguese girl. The one who’s family had a BBQ and there were sardines on the grill not burgers and hot dogs.  When I went to Portugal I was the American girl because well I had an accent, now that I am living in Germany…I just confuse the shit out of people.

“Can I see your Passport?”  Hands Portuguese Passport to them.

“I thought you were American.” I stare at them blinking slowly.

“Do you have an American Passport?” Sigh.

“NO. I am Portuguese. I Have a Portuguese Passport. I only had a green card in the USA but I handed that back. ” I explain.

“OH. It’s just that you sound American.” INSERT EYE ROLL

“Yes I spent most of my life there, but for all intents and purposes, I am Portuguese.”

I’ve had this conversation a few times, or some similar type of conversation about this here. Also there are those people who love to ask me this: “So how long are you here for?” ………… “I’ve been living here for five years.” ….”Are you staying?”…. I don’t know, CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN WHERE I AM FROM AND WHERE THE FUCK I AM GOING?!

idiots

For most of my life I have been a foreigner. I was a foreigner in the USA, in Portugal I was the American,but now I am the German, in Germany I am the American…no the Portuguese…no wait where Am I from again?

It’s not that I am having some kind of Identity crisis, all my experiences are making me who I am. A Passport doesn’t define much of anything in my eyes other than who’s most likely to get frisked at immigration when traveling to the USA. Still sometimes I do have to sit and wonder who I am, or where am I from? I never really know how to answer that question anymore, and really wish people could ask me something else.

whoamI

Always the foreigner.

and that’s okay.

 

Coffee & Rant, Uncategorized

The World is on Fire

fire

WARNING…I Am going to say FUCK…A LOT. Deal with it. Or stay blissfully ignorant, until your own government voted in by old farts hits you with a bag of dicks. If you’re looking for eloquent, “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for”

tumblr_o05ogzG9H11v2z1xio1_500

I am not the most political person. I pay attention, I read up, but I can’t sit here and say I am well informed on absolutely everything. This post though, is going to focus more on the fact that the old generations who have literally FUCKED our futures already, are furthering the path to destruction.

These strong feelings have been brewing since Trump announced he was running for president. Since all these right wing parties started gaining traction in the EU, with mass shootings rising and republicans still stating “we are keeping our boom boom sticks” and now with the UK voting to leave the EU.

In the words of some stranger on the internet…WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?! Your old asses need to sit down have some prune juice and get this ignorant shit out of your systems! It turns out, all the young people who you assume are only taking selfies, and fucking each other with selfie sticks, are actually very much aware of the real world repercussions of a massive decision like leaving the EU, the majority of young voters voted for remain.

See this isn’t just a UK problem though. These older generations are forcing their opinions into a world they most likely won’t even be a part of. This Xenophobia is spreading like wild fire. I remember being in department stores or supermarkets with my mother in the USA and speaking Portuguese to her, and some old fart had the nuts to tell me to go back to Mexico. SIR, here’s a fucking map and a dollar, go buy a fucking clue. I see it sometimes in the faces of older people here in Germany when I say something to my Boyfriend in English. That look that says “You’re in MY country. You are taking OUR jobs. Go Back to where you came from.” But, I feel at HOME in Germany, my job requires an understanding of English beyond “My name is Hans. I come from Germany” so I was probably better suited for it than most German natives, but to go back to where I came from wouldn’t really be a problem, but currently my life is here, and your xenophobic ass will have to deal with it.

tumblr_nw6isjnSNq1tuxz8lo1_250

The fear I have for this UK exit from the EU, is that it is currently setting the stage for more old angry white racist assholes in the Land of the “free” to vote for Trump. These things are opening pandora’s box, and the entire world is going to start feeling the repercussions of these decisions made by old generations that probably won’t live long enough to even deal with any of it. It’s all about GIVE ME MY GUNS, and THEM GAYS SHOULDN’T MARRY, and DON’T LET THE MEXICANS IN…

The UK had similar situations. They felt that members of other EU nations were taking their jobs, they thought they were paying too much into the EU, they wanted independence, and now the POUND is worth less than my monopoly money, and you have lost Billions in a matter of hours because your old brain was hoping for the old days of the UK just being the UK and not having to follow any of these silly EU rules. BUT if trade will continue to happen…then you will have to follow the rules anyway you dumb fucks!

I am just skimming through the summary of what’s a War and Peace sized novel. I could blurt out all kinds of profanity at how stupid I find the older generations who vote for this mind numbing bullshit. I am pretty sure it is 2016…almost 90% sure of that at the moment.

Well now that the pound is worth dust and lint, I guess when I visit the Harry Potter studio tour, I will be paying peanuts. so … thank you?

Sigh, the world is on fire, and we are all trying to piss on it to put it out.

The future is looking grim…

 

 

 

 

Coffee & Rant

Coffee & Rant – Stop Being a Snob

coffeerant

On this installment of my coffee & rant posts, I talk about snobs. You know who I am talking about. The people who think their choices in what they eat, drink, read, and listen to, are better than your choices. You know one. You possibly know a bunch of them. Well I am here to say: STOP BEING A SNOB!

NOTE: This indeed is a rant. I drop F bombs a few times, if you’re pure like a unicorn and can’t take it, Walk away now.

Here’s why I get irritated by the snobbery from people. What someone chooses to do with their free time, and frankly their god damn digestive system, has ZERO effect on your life. Honestly I know you can come back and say well “the mass consumption of this, that and the other is ruining…” Shut the fuck up. I will reiterate this for you, it has ZERO effect on your life. Take coffee drinking for instance, yes I have found many other places I enjoy more than Starbucks here, but once in a while if I want to walk into Starbucks and drink a frothy drink with 1000 calories, how is that any of your business? I am not chaining you down and making YOU drink it am I? But NOOOOO, the coffee snob is going to come in and rant “How can you drink that? I only drink coffee beans that have been partially digested by an Asian Palm Civet.”

tumblr_nnjfgf3bea1t1qeoto1_500

I have dealt with snobs a lot, because the Metal community tends to have a lot of them. Only their underground bands that no one listens to are real metal, and your love for (Insert Moderately Popular Band Name Here) makes you a poser. I already did an entire post about people whining about a band not being metal enough, so I won’t bitch about it right now, but again, What I listen to, isn’t going to make your world stop turning. Your heart isn’t going to stop, you won’t hear it if you don’t want to, so let me listen to whatever the hell I want, and you listen to your underground bands, but stop judging me for this shit. Stop judging people in general.

Which brings me to the book community. I actually really love this community because they are way less judgmental about what people choose to read, but the readers who are outside of this online book community tend to piss me off. Especially the adults. So the fuck what if I read Young Adult Books, Kids books, or anything else that you seem to deem unworthy? When people complain about popular novels…I’m sorry, did we have a freaky friday moment, and suddenly everything I read is being absorbed by your brain? NO? Then, silence! I will admit that I turned into a slight snob about people reading 50 Shades of Grey, but at the end of the day read whatever the hell you want. I read comic books too, and I am sure there are plenty of people who find that juvenile and stupid. Well good for you that you don’t know how to have fun, but I enjoy it immensely. I get it, you’re a pseudo intellectual who only reads classic novels written by dead white guys, but I don’t care what you read, just don’t try to pin point me as an idiot because I like to read many different things. Don’t think because I have a mass amount of Harry Potter books and collectibles that I am somehow less intelligent than you. I can tie my shoes and count to three, go fuck yourself. I work hard, so if I want I will play hard. That has no lasting effect on your life, other than those five minutes that you get worked up over what I am doing, but that’s on you. I will continue to do whatever I want.

tumblr_nlfqghv0Wn1qk08n1o1_500

I get it, you snobs love to feel special, smart, and unique. You love to think so highly of yourselves that you can’t take the time to just let people simply enjoy the things they love. Well continue on your pretentious little lonely path, I will be over here, having fun.

My coffee is cold, see ya later!!

 

Coffee & Rant

Coffee & Rant – Why Was Rey Left Out of Star Wars Toys?

coffeerant

On my very first Coffee & Rant post, I want to talk about a little something that brought up old memories and brings up angry ranty rage up to the surface of my otherwise quiet and timid demeanor.

It was written on the Hypable site that Rey was intentionally left out of the Star Wars: The Force Awakens toy sets.  They excluded her because the idea here is that boys will not want to play with a product that has a female character on it, which in turn makes me think what kind of boys are you people raising? and Also what about the girls that want to play with Star Wars toys? Don’t they get to be represented in the toy sets? Don’t they get a choice of choosing Rey over Barbie?

A Girl in the 90’s Who Wanted Action Figures

Growing up in the 90’s (I was born in 1986..yes I turn 30 soon, No I don’t think I’m too old for this shit) I had an interest in the action figure aisle, but I was always handed Barbie dolls, Disney Princesses, and Polly Pockets. Which by the way I enjoyed, but I also loved playing outside, playing soccer, and coming home covered in dirt. I had constant scabby knees from falling while playing random games. I was a tom boy 80% of the time. When I was in third grade the Power Rangers became the really popular tv show for kids. I loved the Red Ranger, and not because I thought he was cute, but because I wanted to be the red ranger. Red was my favorite color, and it was the color of my favorite Portuguese soccer team Benfica. But when I said I wanted to be a Power Ranger for Halloween, I was given the Pink Ranger suit. That was the girl Power Ranger, and so that was going to be my costume. It didn’t register at the time, but years later I thought about how I actually hated the color pink as a kid, and somehow I still ended up being the Pink ranger. When it came down to buying the action figure of the Power Ranger I wanted…I refused to get the Pink Ranger, and my parents probably a little reluctantly at that time, Bought me the Red Ranger Action Figure.

redranger

That’s how it has always been right? Girls have to do girly things, and Boys do what boys do, but what happens to the kids who have different interests? I hated being told that something was only for boys. Growing up around my older brother and his friends, I wanted to jump from the Garage roof with them, I wanted to play sports, I wanted to do the boys only things. But the media and the entire world was screaming that I was supposed to be into dresses, princesses, and boyfriends.

Rey is Important for Girls and Boys

Rey symbolizes something bigger. Not only is she the main character of the best selling movie of ALL TIME, she represents little girls like me, who were told that Star Wars or anything else remotely “masculine”  was meant only for boys. She is showing the world that women and young girls can and will do anything that boys and men do. She is empowering young girls, and she is showing young boys that YES, girls can have lightsabers too! So why in this day and age did a giant corporation think that putting a MAIN CHARACTER in their toy lines would be a mistake? The answer to that is that we have a long way to go before we reach true equality. Of course this is a first world problem, but it is a representation of a much bigger issue. Women and girls are still not taken seriously. Even though we are definitely a force to be reckoned with, we are still seen as damsels in distress. This is something that just needs to change. It is 2016, I can still play soccer better than most men I have crossed paths with, don’t believe me? Let’s take it to the field. Stop saying shit like “That’s a girl color” or “That’s for boys” Newsflash! Inanimate objects DO NOT HAVE GENDERS. My pink coloring pencil isn’t lifting up its skirt and flashing its vagina around. Soccer balls don’t need to come in pink for me to be interested in them. So Star Wars toys can include Rey, and if your son mouths off about it, then you have a bigger problem on your hands and need to educate him better. Children are too young and too innocent for adults to be telling them things that will sucker punch their self esteem. Don’t do that shit.

tumblr_o03b74GqQ11s9o2dbo1_500

Girls are not just lying in wait to turn a certain age and simply become sexual objects for men. That is not their purpose, so stop treating them as such. Strong girls will grow up to be strong and brilliant women.

Rey is a representation of that, and THAT is really what scares the white men in suits making these shitty decisions.

tumblr_nwi4ioLppU1qiaxzfo1_500

My coffee has gone cold, and this rant is over! Let’s discuss this issue!! Comment down below!!

MATG