Mental Health

The Lines You Will Not Cross

It’s 3am, and I am writing this on my phone because there’s an intense feeling of anger that’s flowing through me.

At first I thought “grab a pen and notebook and write it out” but then I realized I may not be the only person that encounters this type of behavior and I need to shed some light on my emotions because it might help someone else.

I’ve been struggling with my mental health. It was really bad about a month ago where I had a terrible mental breakdown that sent me into a deep depressive state that I’d rather not detail here. Reliving that would be a step backwards for me at the moment.

I have been trying my best to keep my head up, my mind clear, and my general mood to where I feel good about myself and I feel motivated to keep going.

This has brought me to the conclusion that I no longer have room in my life for anything that doesn’t enrich my mind and soul in some way. I don’t have time for people who make decisions that can send me into a spiral.

Someone has completely disregarded that. They knew how I’ve been struggling with my anxiety and still made the decision to send me a passive aggressive Facebook message like the world only revolves around their life, their feelings, and their problems.

I have enough shit to worry about without having someone add to that with some “oh poor me” bullshit. All because on my birthday I did not respond to their messages. You’re not entitled to my time and energy.

You don’t get to play victim and talk about respect when you completely disregard my mental health and write a long winded selfish wall of text at 1:00am.

You’re right about one thing though. You do not know me very well.

Because if you did you would think twice before hitting that send button. I didn’t play these games when I was 16 and I’m not about to start.

Everyone is entitled to their boundaries, their quiet time, their family time, and their choices.

I chose to ignore you because you were not a priority to me on that day. My niece and nephew and his friend were priorities first and foremost. My brother and sister in law were priorities because we are a wolf pack and we try as best we can to have each other’s backs. My fiancé was a priority because even though he was gone for weeks for work he arrived two days before my birthday and gave me one of the best days of my life. And my dad and cousins who took the time to spend some moments with me on my first birthday in Portugal in 29 years.

You don’t get to cross lines because you feel a high sense of self importance. I didn’t do anything wrong and I won’t be reprimanded.

As I write this, I feel better because at the end of the day, you made a decision to write to me, negatively impact my mental health without a second thought and then still had the balls to talk about respect.

These are the lines you will not cross, I won’t let you.

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